Here we go again.
I am here again at this very place where I stood and cried my heart out before.
It been almost three years.
Here I am, looking at the very horizon in which my tears flowed without any restriction.
I promised myself I’ll never be hurt like this again.
Yet here I am, struck down and contemplating whether I should stand up or let let the pain overwhelm me – swallowing me whole so I would cease to exist. Now,I couldn’t stopy myself from grimacing while looking at the very same horizon wondering if my fate will never change – like the horizon that I am seeing right now – unchanging as it is.
So what happened this time?
Frankly, I don’t know the answer anymore. All I know is that everything inside me hurts like hell. I swore to myself this will never happen again.
I guess promises are really meant to be broken.
I have always tried to be patient. I have always tried to be one step advance before any blow could hit and render me unconcious. But I guess I am no goddamned psychic and is basically cursed to hit the wall face first over and over till I just say ‘I quit’.
Nobody probably understand me. Bah, even I don’t understand myself. Funny, neh? I don’t find it so. I find it disgusting. Totally disgusting.
Maybe I should be the uncaring bastard that I am. Maybe I should stop myself from caring other people. Everybody seems to have the perception that I don’t give a shit about them – I guess I’ll go with the flow then.
I guess they shouldn’t be demanding for someone like me to change. ‘Cause the way I see it, they never bothered to change themselves as well.
Even if you love them so much.
Even if you hate them so much.
It’ll all lead into one point.
To the horizon who didn’t bother to change – to the only direction it goes since the start of time.